To know that you’re healed by his stripes is one thing.
To actually live in that healing is a whole other world.
To know that I can live in that healing is something that just recently I’ve experienced.
Without the vision to see.
I’ve been wounded.
Deeper than I could comprehend
Like most of us, we find ways to deal, cope, and forget about the hurt.
The pain. The broken heart.
Though just when you think you’re walking in freedom
Or someone lets you down.
Surely & painfully, like salt to a wound.
It hurts. It stings. It almost takes your breath away.
Now. It’s nice to know I can breath.
No longer does it hurt.
Now he gives me breath.
In all that I feel. At times where a wound used to hurt. A peace sinks in.
This is real love. This is real freedom.
This is healing.
I have come to know a peace that the world cannot give me.
I have come to know a love that I did nothing to deserve.
I have come to walk a path that has been made before me.
I have come to experience freedom in knowing I’m not in control.
I have come to know that my saviour is far greater.
He is far greater than my imagination
He is far greater than any circumstance
He is far greater than any of my failures.
His love is far greater than any other. This I proclaim
because his great love
I live in it.
Today I’m thankful for lots of things.
Today I’m rather thankful for restoration.
actually most of the time,
I don’t begin friendships how I would like
& sometimes they don’t even go where I would like.
Until I give it away,
until I believe in restoration.
Sometimes I don’t do things right, actually most of the time.
Though every time, I see restoration in the friendships and relationships in my life.
Some happen faster than other times.
Though I know
& I am thankful
That restoration is here.
So, there’s a joy. That I can’t explain. Other than the Joy of the Lord.
Have you ever experienced break through, in an area that you don’t even know where, or how, or when.
There’s a season for everything under heaven.
What season are you in?
I am laughing & I am dancing
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance
I havn’t written in a while & in the past 12 months, honestly it hasn’t been a desire. I think eventually my desire to write is coming back. Thankfully.
So here I am. I’ve started writing more in my own person journal too, maybe a sneak peak will appear on my blog at some stage this year.
This year is a new journey for me. I graduated nursing last year and in 2 weeks time I would have begun my first full time job as a registered nurse. Nerves havn’t kicked in yet…Its really just excitement for now.
Emily and I have been blessed with a beautiful house only a block away from Maroubra beach. Can’t explain how thankful I am.
So right now, with a week away until I move in. I’m sorting out the past 5 years of papers, letters, clothes, memories & all that has been a part of my life.
Trying to begin the simple life.
Cull all that I don’t need & put it behind me. Excited for the new journey & culling the old. Makes me think.
Continuely I am trying to cull the old and look forward to the new, there are always those things that I’m meant to cull finding their way into my future. Not sure whether or not this is a good thing or not.
Though this time, the cull is a good one.
Lets see how simple it can get.
This journey is going to be better than the rest. I can’t wait.
& basically. I am just stoked that God has made a way for me to walk it.
I want to write. Just so you know. I will accept you. No matter what. I do want to get to know you.
I want to write. Just so you know. You shouldn’t be intimidated by me. I’m just confident. I do want to get to know you.
These two things. They make me ponder. What do people really think of me.
So often I hear people are intimidated by me.
So often I hear people are afraid to tell me who they really are.
I want to tell you. I will accept you. There’s nothing you’ve done, you’ve thought, you’ve said or you’ve been through that will make me think any less, nor will make me want to know you any less.
We may not enjoy the same food.
We may not enjoy the same sports.
We may not agree on most things.
There’s not a person in my life I’ve come across, that despite the differences, despite the past and despite our futures, that I will not accept.
Sometimes I wonder.
Actually always I wonder.
I think a lot.
I always like to know why.
I question the things I probably shouldn’t.
I just let be the things I should probably question.
Today I wonder.
As I have many times before.
I wonder about communication.
I wonder about honesty.
I wonder about trust.
I wonder if people just do
& I wonder if people think.
I’ve come to realise that honesty, communication and trust are more than important to me. I realise how important they are to maintain friendships, and any relationship I have in my life.
I’ve been hurt by the truth many times, only to realise that regardless of the hurt, the truth has developed trust.
I trust those that aren’t afraid to hurt me, in order to be honest to me. I appreciate each and every person in my life that tells me how it is.
To be honest.
I started writing this blog coming from a heart that hurts, & one that feels betrayed.
Whilst as usual I’ve learnt a valuable lesson through situations that have lead this heart to hurt, as God does…he protects me & as romans 8:28 says. ”We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him”
To know that I can trust God. To know that I can know the truth. To know that I am covered by amazing leaders, that will be honest, that will communicate and that I can trust. This is what I’ve come to realise.
After I wonder.
I come to a conclusion.
One I didn’t set out for.
Though one that God had already set out for me.
So when I sit
& I wonder why.
He always shows me.
He shows me why.
Or he shows me why I don’t need to know why.
He is truth. & I trust him.
Last time I wrote it was only a matter of hours before my final exam before finishing my nursing degree. I wrote to say thank you.
Today I write, 3 weeks after I sat that last exam & I am overwhelmed at where the past 3 years of this degree have gone, the things I’ve been through and the most incredible things I’ve experienced.
From here, it’s nice to know there’s a path ahead that I can follow, I may only be able to see where it’s going a step at a time, though I’m thankful there’s a light leading the way.
It’s the most amazing thing to know that through the good times and through the tough times that I’ve been protected and kept safe the entire way, every step of the way.
Regardless of making my own choices and regardless of the circumstances that I’ve faced, I have been blessed.
I wouldn’t want to do life any other way than serving this amazing God that is ever so gracious. I did nothing to deserve his love, protection, peace, but he is so gracious.
Its my final exam of my undergraduate nursing degree tomorrow.
Its midnight the night before this exam & before I rest my eyes and sleep soundly I want to say thank you.
I want to thank my God thats given me the grace and gone before me to see me where I stand now.
Without his stirring, without the knowledge of his heart and the gift of his spirit, I probably wouldn’t be standing at the beginning of a career I know I’m meant to be in.
Nursing was the last thing I wanted to do. Then he spoke.
It’s callings such as this that you can’t brush off and you can’t ignore. I can honestly say that the past three years of my degree, I only stand here because of ultimately, his faithfulness.
Not for a moment in this degree have I thought maybe this isn’t for me. Every day, every week, every month and every year I continued to step closer to finishing this degree, the more and more I’ve seen his heart revealed in my life.
I’ve fallen more in love with his calling for me. I’ve fallen more in love with him who has gone before me & more in love with his kingdom purpose. I couldn’t do it without him.
Why do I know it’s my calling. I know it is my calling because it wasn’t easy, sometimes I was in the desert, & sometimes I could barely go on, though his open arms remained. Through the tough times, his love remained, and through the tough times, I found peace, in him.
To find a peace, amongst the tough. Is when I’d realise, this is where I am meant to be.
So thankful & as I head into my final exam. I can truely say, its for the kingdom.
I am so completely in love with the faithful God I serve.
Sometimes I find it hard to believe at how blessed I am.
How blessed I am to have a strength in my life that is beyond my own.
To have a path made out for me, that I only need to follow.
To have a firm foundation when the storms come.
To know that I have a hope and a future.
To know that when I think I’m lost, that I am shown just how to get back on track.
& to know that wherever I am. That is where I am meant to be.
To know a peace. This is where I am meant to be.